Facing the System: A Journey Beyond Fear
Have you ever sensed a truth inside you, quietly waiting to be realized? After my first birth, something told me there was a different way, but it took time—and another pregnancy or two—before I fully embraced my power and claimed my right to birth on my terms.
For those who are new here, I’m Marlene, a certified birth doula serving Tulare and Kings County. I’ve walked this path as a mother, and now I help other women find their strength in birth. And to all of you who have been with me from the start—thank you. Your support keeps me going as I share these lessons.
In 2013, four and a half years after my first birth, I was pregnant again, this time with my second child. Yet, even after all that time I was still asleep to the truth—I didn’t prioritize educating myself.
I had heard the term VBAC, but I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I didn’t have all the facts, but deep down, as a woman, I sensed something primal, something instinctive about giving birth naturally. I felt that my body was designed for this, that a vaginal birth was not only possible, but the way I was meant to bring my children into the world. And that knowing—unexplainable, but powerful—was the spark I should have followed, even if I didn’t have all the answers yet.
Despite that desire, I never took the time to learn or push back. I simply trusted my doctor—this time, a different one since we had moved. He told me, “Yes, you can attempt a VBAC; we are supportive of that.” And so, with that fragile trust, I moved forward.
But just like so many other women, I soon realized this was a bait-and-switch. He was supportive—until the very end—just like so many doctors who give false hope. They nod, they reassure you, until the moment you need them most—that’s when they pivot, applying pressure for induction or a C-section, leaving you feeling powerless.
This pregnancy was very similar to my first. I was healthy, my baby girl was healthy, but I got super swollen again—from my knees to my feet. They were huge, about three times their normal size, and my back ached, but there were no complications—no preeclampsia, but also no answers once again as to why I was so swollen.
Then early one morning—around 3 a.m.—I was around 39 weeks gestation, my waters spontaneously ruptured. I didn’t feel strong contractions, but because I was told to go in if my waters broke, I blindly listened and once again let them control the timeline, going straight to the hospital. In the weeks leading up, it was all encouragement, but once I arrived at the hospital, it flipped.
They began fearmongering—suggesting induction, warning me of infection risks, nudging me toward a c-section from the moment I arrived, planting seeds of doubt in my mind. I was only in labor for 12 hours, and as time passed, the pressure started to build—
“Your waters have been ruptured too long.”
“You’re at risk of infection.”
“You’re not progressing fast enough.”
They labeled it "failure to progress," making me believe my body had failed me—or worse, that it was broken—that something from the first C-section had kept me from giving birth this time, maybe even permanently.
I only dilated to 3 centimeters, but now I see the truth: I went too soon; they rushed me, and didn't give us enough time. My body wasn’t broken—and yet, they still wheeled me to the OR for another c-section. No one was overtly cruel—but the entire process lacked the urgency that would justify a c-section. No one acted with malice or aggression—but their decisions left me with no real choice. No one demeaned me, but there was no emergency; it was unnecessary. I just didn’t know I had a choice.
Once again, I left the hospital without ever feeling fully in control of my birth. But this time, I vowed next time it would be different. And it was this experience—this betrayal of trust—this missed opportunity—that continued to ignite the fire inside of me.
I don’t want other women to walk this path blindly. You have the right to stay informed, to ask questions, and to demand the birth you envision—no matter what.
Now, as a doula in Tulare and Kings County, I stand on the other side of that silence. I help every mother who crosses my path stay empowered, informed, and ready to claim her birthright—so that less women are left vulnerable at the last moment again. I offer personalized doula services, placenta encapsulation, and childbirth education, so that more families in this area never have to feel lost in that moment. Your birth matters, Your rights matter. And I’m here to make sure you claim them.



















































